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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Premium Member meregoddessFemale/United States Recent Activity
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meregoddess

Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
The person, you can't live without
Often is one, you couldn't live with, either
It is easy to want what you don't have
When you don't have it
And hard not to want something else when you do
So the big love in a lot of lives
Is the one that got away...

Current Residence: South Carolina
Favourite genre of music: Blues, Smooth Jazz, Classical
Operating System: Heart, Lungs and Brain
Wallpaper of choice: One that matches my carpet
Skin of choice: Mine. I've grown into it.
Personal Quote: Deny, Deny, Deny...
Interests

Don't You Just Hate It...

Journal Entry: Sun Jul 6, 2014, 8:55 PM
Favorite for the Moment | Watch Me

************************

Don’t You Just Hate it …

When people don’t get your answering machine message?  Mine says:  “Next on Mere Radio 98.7 FM we will be hearing the music of Ludwig Van Beethoven, his Beep Serenade in C-Sharp Minor.”  I constantly get messages saying “Hey, I didn't hear any music…”

When you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache then suddenly she’s not your friend anymore?

That companies think we’re stupid?  I mean SERIOUSLY stupid?  I saw the following on a Frito’s bag in a grocery store: YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.  DETAILS INSIDE.  Really?  C’mon, really??

That when you get married, you find that men think it “beneath” them to clean a toilet?  It’s YOUR job to clean it.  It’s okay for YOU to scrub it, wash it, and clean the walls.  Yes, clean the walls.  They don’t believe they pee on the walls, but we know they do, don’t we?  But NO, they can’t do it.  They do all the “heavy” stuff so we can have the “privilege” of cleaning the toilet.  We could live in a condo, with a yard boy, have groceries delivered, have a metal roof that never needs repairing and buy a new car every year, and they STILL would not clean a toilet.  They’d do their business in the woods first.  Don’t you just hate that?  Me? It just flat out pisses me off…

When you’re in a hurry, breaking the speed limit, practically flying down the highway and you get behind grandma’s uncle and have to pass? Don’t you hate it even more when you get caught at the next red light and grandma’s uncle pulls up beside you?

That vegetarians say they refuse to eat meat because they believe all animals have the right to live, but then they turn around and eat all the animals’ food?

Don’t You Just Hate It…

When you have a boyfriend who has dyslexia and a sex manual?  He’ll spend the better part of an hour looking for your vinegar…

That a good man is hard to find?  Put it in perspective though.  A good midget is even harder to find….especially in a large crowd. 

That life is going to be so easy for those people born in the year 2000?  They’ll never have to fumble with the math to figure out how old they are…

When you have to tell prospective employers that you worked at Hooters?  30 years ago?

When astral projecting over a slow moving turtle on the highway while lucid dreaming, thereby avoiding bad karma and reducing your chances of coming back in the next life as a sea turtle with a 1 in 25,000 chance of making it to the ocean and surviving, you get lost and have to stop and ask for directions? 
(bet you had to read THAT one twice)

That when you’re drunk it’s difficult to say proliferation, very difficult to say specificity, and downright impossible to say “Sorry, but you’re really not my type.”  Okay, that’s an old joke, but dontcha just LOVE it?

Don’t You Just Hate It…

That people will add your deviations to their favorites and not comment on them?  I mean it’s nice and all, and it’s flattering and much appreciated that people follow you and add your work, but d.a.m.n.  I myself sure would like to know WHY they liked it enough to add it to their favorites.  It doesn't have to be a long drawn out explanation, just tell me SOMETHING.  Otherwise, I feel like it’s a pity/obligation fave…

When you tell people the joke “How long is a Chinese name” and they don’t get it…

When you get Chinese instructions on purchases?  I got instructions on some Christmas lights I purchased that said FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.  I sat there for an hour racking my brains trying to think of some place besides indoors or outdoors that I might have used them…

That it is so hard to tell puns to kleptomaniacs because they take things so literally?

When people tell you puns?  It takes a certain sense of humor to appreciate a pun.  So go ahead and hate me.  I’m going to share with you one of my favorite puns:  Mahatma Gandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.  He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.  This made him what was known as a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 

Well, if you’ve made it this far through journal, I’m going to punish you.  Yes, punish you by leaving you with one of my favorite jokes of all time.  If you have had enough already, please feel free to stop reading here.  Otherwise, read on for one more joke:

A patient in the doctor’s office explains to the doctor that he has a problem, but he’s embarrassed to talk about it because he is afraid the doctor will laugh.

The doctor assures him that he has been practicing for 40 years and has seen it all, that there is absolutely nothing he can tell him or show him that he has not seen before and he promises he will be professional and not laugh. 

The patient, feeling reassured, then proceeds to remove his pants and his underwear showing the doctor a man’s most “prized possession.”   The doctor looks, and sees the smallest “prized possession” he has ever seen on a grown man.  Why, it was no bigger than a thimble. 

Try as he might, the doctor can’t help himself.  He breaks out into peals of uncontrollable laughter until tears roll down his face.  The patient is mortified.  Finally, the doctor gets himself under control, apologizes profusely to the patient, and asks him what seems to be the problem.

The patient responds “it’s swollen.”

The doctor had to leave the room.



  • Mood: Humor
  • Listening to: Give Peas a Chance by John Lennon
  • Reading: Inflammation Please! By Arthur Itis
  • Watching: My Ant Farm not produce
  • Playing: hammered dulcimer
  • Eating: Gator Tail
  • Drinking: Milk

Journal History

My Music



I wrote a song. Kinda...

There was an old black and white movie starring Bette Davis called "Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte" and there was a music box that played a beautiful melody. I looked everywhere for the music to this song, but alas, it was out of print. It is however now in the public domain, so using what I remembered of the melody, I wrote my own arrangement for my high school orchestra. This is written for orchestra and flute. I used the main theme from the music box, then added my own counter melody to the mix. I sure hope someone listens, and someone likes it. I'm very proud of this. :)

My Latest Poetry

Dance With Me


Come to me! Take me in your cold embrace
And dance with me to the Gavotte, and the Minuet
On the earth, with a soft breeze brought by celestial winds
In music that fills my soul until the moment when we depart
This earthly coil to that destiny of which the two of us will only know…

I will reach out my hand to you, and come willingly
I shall whisper my secrets to you, of which you know
But I shall seek to unburden my dark and heavy soul
That I may finally find freedom and peace at last
Taken into your arms for all of eternity…

Come dance with me! Meet me on the dance floor
Push through to the empty space that has been left for us
As the cloudy night makes way to blankets of darkness
And the music finally reaches the final strain, I beseech you
Oh Death! Though I fear you not, come not too soon, for I am not quite ready yet...

Comments


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:iconsubhankar-biswas:
subhankar-biswas Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2014  Professional General Artist
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ann!
here's a small something i made for you: fav.me/d7ovlaw

i hope you have a great day! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconmeregoddess:
meregoddess Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks!  You made my birthday more than you know :)
Reply
:icongurt-b-froe:
Gurt-B-Froe Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Happy birthday!
Reply
:iconmeregoddess:
meregoddess Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you dear!!
Reply
:icongurt-b-froe:
Gurt-B-Froe Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
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