We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
What was your power again?
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Ugly People,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish douche-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy okay?
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Every iPhone User