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Literature Text
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Google
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish douche-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy okay?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish douche-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy okay?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Literature
SOMETHING
What smoky poltergeist has lit out
across the dusty plains of my mind
and left no footprint?
A contrarian alchemist turning
my gold into lead and taking with it
all my illusions of clarity
Those wizards and sorcerers pushing
their false incantations and last right lies
I sense another curve in my future
Something just up ahead
Literature
the incredible benefits of having missed a musical
we’re sharing stories
finding laughter together
singing not sleeping
Literature
Don't
Don't tell me to get over it
As though that took so little wit
Contempt in your rolling eyes
Primacy poorly disguised
Don't order me to suck it up
For I drink from a bitter cup
You ask why I can't just 'move on'
But all my forward thrust is gone
Don't say that it's just a phase,
I still can't see past this maze.
The little fissure those eyes see
A chasm meant to swallow me
Don't claim that you can empathize
It reeks of haughtiness and lies
And all your pretty banal words
Swirl around like feral birds
You seem sure that their pecking
Makes my mind so much tougher
But that which doesn't kill
Will only make me suffer
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This was originally a journal I wrote a long time ago. I thought I'd make a deviation out of it and keep it in my gallery. I hope you enjoy!
© 2012 - 2024 meregoddess
Comments27
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Some of them were better than others, but I did like them all!