[x]

SenescenceBefore the rain,
all the leaves are brown.

Here's to green memories -
but the tree that loves its leaves
will never know the art of aging.

You found love in our yellow room,
but winter's holding my hand;
it won't be long.

When somebody says your name for the last time,
they gently take your life.

To the lonely sea and the skyin the dim of twilight
I feel immortal
but I feel blue;
stardust and sun drenched
torsos

watercolor pain

like the desert misses the rain

I remember you:
a sky of smog
coasting on thin ice,
limbs tangled
around the
sextile sun and uranus

bones

dust

insomnia on the silvermoon

but I am the wayward child
and there's a hole in my soul,
so please show me

show me what the stars look like tonight.

I should write this down.holy shit I should write this down -

the bad advice kills me;
like self publish WAY before they're ready.
how can we make it better?

you don't write to get a DD;
you write something awesome and then get a DD because you're there.

you don't pay to be published.

publishing isn't the end all be all.

we're ready for you.

Clarity"Come. You be a gear right here,"
she dares and she is tempting. I admit,
enclosed worlds don't appeal to me.
I am embers on the highway.
I'll forge myself into something greater.
The harvest suits me not, so forth I'll go;
judge me not.

Show me how the sun rises.
Even in the dead of winter,
I am scorched like the Earth from the inside-out.
The heat of this nameless, godless desert is trapped within my wounds.

Follow the shuffling feet,
the bloodied shapes
like patchwork hope sewn together from someone else's sacrifice.
Unmistakable, undeniable, guilty;
but the answer will have escaped you.
With the perfect clarity of ragged eyes
all become

UsedA pillow soaked with tears.
My tears.

I cry all the time out of lonlieness now.

When will you love me again?
Or will you just use me?
Really now, be honest.
Truthful.
Hate me? Why? i've been nothing but nice!

And I've always cared.
Now you're leaving.
You don't care anymore.
Try is all I did.
However, you just used me.
I only wanted a best friend.
Now you don't want me.
Good grief!

Tell me what I did wrong!
Oppressed you? Never!

Your ideas were always great!
Ooutstanding, evem! You're gone now. You don't care.
Used me. That's all I ever was to you.

WishesSo many people wish upon stars.
How many secrets do they hold?
Oh, it must be over a million,
Over a billion.
Trillions at least.
I can't even imagine how many there must be.
Not one person hasn't tried it.
Great, dark skies with tiny, twinkling lights.

Stars are trusted by people.
They never tell your secrets.
And they always listen.
Rise of the sun, the disappear.
Set of the sun, they are back to hear.

LonelyBy myself again.
I don't go anywhere.
To do anything. So I sit there,
Twining my fingers together in boredom.
Except - I don't have to be.
Really. I could call a friend.

The answering machine picks up.
Eventually I leave a message to call me back.
And I cry, because I hate being alone.
Rewinding my VHS tape, I play my favourite movie.
Sad one, though. It's Fried Green Tomatoes.

I hate being alone.

Cause it hurts. It's scary.
Radical thought run through my head when I'm alone.
You guys, please don't leave me, I request as tears run down my face...

AvoidingWhen you're not here, I feel empty.
How much? A lot.
You're avoiding me.

And I'm sad.
Remember me? Or have I become invisible again?
Exceptional. That's what you used to call me.

You used to want to hang out all the time.
Outstanding, the way things change so suddenly.
Underneath my covers, I feel scared I'll lose you.

And yet, i don't call you. Because I'm scared of you, too.
Very much so. I don't want to be yeled at.
Only -
I miss you so much.
Do you miss me?
I waant to talk to you! But you're -
Not talking to me anymore.
Good grief, do you not want me anymore?

Maybe you don't. You could have told me, instead of breaking my heart.
Eve

What is Hallowed and CommonI don't know if I believe in love
But I sure as hell hope it doesn't find me.
I've got too much going on to worry about that.
Hell, I don't even want it.

I think.

I see all these other people moaning and groaning about it
Because they haven't found anyone yet.
They use that word for it? "Found"?
What, is it something you just stumble across without meaning to?

If that's it, love sounds pretty damn inconvenient.
I mean, you're not prepared for it.
You don't know exactly what to do with it,
the first time.

And things like that mess up everything.

Those star-eyed idiots say it isn't so.
That it's supposed to be unexpected.
Well, so is a mug

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Submitted: March 13, 2010
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Resolution: 462×409

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Yetby *meregoddess

Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Visual & Found Poetry

"[link]" image by moonchilde

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*Blacksand459 Dec 1, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Very nice work.

On the one hand, I look at the picture, and to me, the image combined with the first stanza is a hopeful one. As though you're akin to the very ether from which stars are formed, and you are waiting to coalesce into magnificence.

But yet you find yourself still cold, still bitter...outside of peace and comfort.

Excellent piece!! If my take on it is way off base, please disregard it. I enjoyed reading your work though.

~A-Symmetry Jan 21, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

...
...where I am a critic.

Firstly, I'll like to say that the title isn't particularly captivating, but that doesn't matter, because we shouldn't judge books by their covers.
Secondly, the picture is relevant since you mentioned the existance and the colour orange...to me, at least. However I don't like the way it fades out into the dA green because I don't think the colours compliment... o.o but anyway.
Going on to the text now~
(oh btw, I think it's okay if you leave out the title in the picture.)

"I do not exist yet except in shades of orange and silver"
I'm not sure if this sticks to the next part "sometimes I hear footsteps of darkness..."
So, does it mean:
"I do not exist. Yet, except in shades of orange and silver, sometimes I hear footsteps..."
or
"I do not exist yet, except in shades of orange and silver. Sometimes I hear footsteps of darkness..."
If it is the first one, the sentence structure is not smooth. If it is the second meaning, I think the 'yet' could be moved up to make reading smoother, because when I first read this I was a bit confused.

"sometimes I hear footsteps of darkness yet longing for peace"
I think this is certainly connected to "I find I still run", but I'm not sure about "wrapped in arms of despair, ..."
I think there's been a trend emerging, and perhaps you could overcome this by adding punctuation. I do know that you didn't want to add it in on purpose, but I think it might make reading easier for readers and give your piece rhythm.
I have also noticed that the capitalisation of words is inconsistant. Perhaps you can attend to this as well.

"I find I still run wrapped in arms of despair and bitter"
In arms of bitter...? Or am I reading this wrongly. If it is, it should be "In arms of ... bitterness..."

"I only exist in shades of orange and silver"
It might sound better as "I exist only in shades of orange and silver"

Overall, I think that the lack of punctuation/misleading spacing is disrupting me from fully appreciating your work.
I also cannot find an obvious link from your work to its title, even though I can guess it out.
I very much like the idea that is lying underneath its surface, it's very abstract and intriguing.
I really hope you don't find this critique insulting but I can only wish that it can help you improve this piece and make it even better.

*meregoddess Jan 21, 2011

I find your critique anything but insulting, it's quite helpful actually. I actually think some of your comments would improve the poem greatly.

Thank you so much for taking time to read, and to comment on my poem, I appreciate your comments greatly.

~A-Symmetry Jan 22, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

You're most welcome! Thanks for taking my suggestions into consideration

*Moonchilde-Stock Apr 4, 2010

That is beautiful!

*meregoddess Apr 4, 2010

With the help of your photo. Thank you so much : )

~FlyHigh20 Mar 29, 2010

what other shades do you exist it? btw I like it

*meregoddess Mar 29, 2010

NOw? I gotta little purple in me lol

I'm glad you liked it. : )

~FlyHigh20 Mar 29, 2010

lol great.

*Meltin Mar 14, 2010 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

No mention of gold. How refreshing. It makes me want to give you a big hug.

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