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May 22, 2012
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Beware!! (Don't say you haven't been warned...)

Journal Entry: Tue May 22, 2012, 3:23 PM
Personal Favorite | Watch Me

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Beware!  There is much to be aware of, and life is filled with danger, deceit and obstacles.  This journal is just about a few of them….

BEWARE of your shampoo!

This morning I figured out why I have been putting on weight and have lost control of my figure. I was washing my hair in the shower, and as I was a bit late, I forgot to take my glasses off and for the first time I read the details, other than the price, on my shampoo bottle.

I was in shock! I was in great shock!

The shampoo I use in the shower, the shampoo that runs down my entire body every morning, says "for extra volume and body!" Seriously, why have I not noticed this before? Tomorrow I am going to start using "Dawn" dishwashing liquid. It says right on the bottle, "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."

BEWARE when shopping!

I don't know how many of you shop at Sam's Club or Costco, but this may be useful to know. I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me and it could happen to you!

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 23-year-old well-built guys come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk.  They both are shirtless and start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their highly-defined chest muscles and rock-hard abs exposed.

It's impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another Sam's Club or Costco.

You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start talking dirty about what they want to do to you. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and begins kissing your neck and begs you to pull over so he can make love to you!!

While this is going on the other guy steals your purse!!

I had my purse stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, and also yesterday and most likely tomorrow. I have a few more old purses in my closet that I can dig out for next week…

BEWARE of goldfish!

Fact.  If you keep a goldfish in the dark, it will eventually turn white. (Off to Petco I go tomorrow, I have got to see this)

BEWARE of Monday!

Studies have shown that the majority of suicides occur on Mondays.  It just proves that everyone HATES Mondays…

BEWARE of lefties!

On average, people who use their right hands live 9 years longer than people who use their left.  So if you want to out live your spouse, and collect the insurance money, marry a left hander….

BEWARE of shrimp!!

The shrimp's heart is in its head.  Do you realize now what you've been eating?

BEWARE of the window washer who, on the 44th floor of a building steps back to check his work…

BEWARE of texts from the unknown phone number!

Hi, Do u have a boyfriend?
Girl:  Yes, who are u?
It's your dad, be home this weekend and we will talk!

Unknown No. 2

Hi.  Do u have a boyfriend?
Girl:  Not a chance, who are u anyway?
it's ur boyfriend, sucks to know ur not proud to be with me and be ur boyfriend.
Girl:  Sorry, babe, I thought u r my dad, he texted me while back asking the same question.  *kiss*
Yes, it's me, your dad.  Come home NOW, and let's have a long talk…

BEWARE of the underwear dust!

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt !"

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.

"What the heck is this?" he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

"Cathy," he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"

She replied with a snicker. "It's not talcum powder; it's Miracle Grow!!!"

BEWARE!  Just beware…

  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: The minutes ticking down till the end of school
  • Reading: Exams, final papers and tests
  • Watching: The beginning of my summer get closer and closer..
  • Playing: at being a writer
  • Eating: Tacos!
  • Drinking: Pinot Grigio (shhhh)
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:iconlefthand666:
Mood: Nervous ~Lefthand666 Jul 24, 2012   Traditional Artist
I am left-handed, aaaaand my lady is few yeas younger .........so I'm worried! :floating: :sprint:
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:iconmeregoddess:
Be nice. Take out a BIG life insurance policy. lol
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:iconlefthand666:
~Lefthand666 Jul 24, 2012   Traditional Artist
:confused: :rofl:
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:iconmeltin:
*Meltin Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm going straight to Costco,and get some of that shampoo! I'm going to wash my...ahem,"package" with it!=p

I won't be buying myself a new handbag tho'. I kinda like the one I have.:)

I found it hilarious that the "miracle gro" husband, "hollered" into the bathroom.:rofl:

You haven't lost your touch.;p
Reply
:iconmeregoddess:
*beaming with pride* I'm glad you enjoyed it. I may do a post on which ones I actually achieved. lol

I've already eaten the pudding mayonnaise and drank the gatorade windex at an outdoor music event held in downtown every June. The looks on people's faces were to DIE for!

Thanks for taking time to read my journal and leaving a comment. You made my day!
Reply
:iconmeltin:
*Meltin Jul 1, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Great idea.;p
I may have to try the mayo/windex trick.
I'd like to see some "peoples' faces";p
I needed a good laugh. I got it there.
Thank YOU. You made MY day!:D
Reply
:iconrealityfaery:
~realityfaery May 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I need to get my butt to Costco's! I love this LOL
Reply
:iconmeregoddess:
Talk about getting a bang for your buck...
Reply
:iconmeeee13:
~meeee13 May 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconepicclapplz: :iconepicclapplz: :iconepicclapplz:
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